Dear Will Smith,

Remember when you rapped awesome tunes like "Parents Just Don't Understand"? Remember how you successfully adapted your Fresh Prince persona to television in the fantastic series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (as well as your guest appearance on the splendid Blossom)? Remember how you made the disastrous decision to be in Roland Emmerich's terrible Independence Day in which you degraded yourself by uttering "Welcome to Earf" and punching an alien? Remember how such inanity was then trumped by the abysmal Wild Wild West? Remember Ali and The Legend of Bagger Vance? Oh, you don't? That's okay--no one else does either. Remember how you eternally blighted the superlative works of Isaac Asimov and Richard Matheson? I, Robot and I Am Legend will now be forever tainted by the horrendous film adaptations in which you starred. Thank you for destroying these important novels.

By the way, that last statement was sarcastic.

Remember how you are now passing on to your kids your penchant for ruining good source material and acting in movies that should never be made? Jaden will never be the Karate Kid, and he doesn't even deserve to be called the more-appropriate Kung Fu Kid. And The Day the Earth Stood Still? Really? Remember how you put Willow in I Am Legend? I can't wait until you cast Willow as the star of The Fresh Princess of Bel-Air. Okay, now that statement was serious. Oh wait, no it wasn't. Sorry. If I had the power to make you rue anything, I would declare, "You will rue the day that you make Willow the star of The Fresh Princess of Bel-Air!" However, I do not have the power to make you rue anything, so I will only say that I dread that day and will be very, very upset when it comes.

Will, you should stop trying to be an action star. Please stop making horrendous movies. And please don't let your children be in movies. Thank you.

Sincerely,
This Guy