While I was in one of your stores today, I saw an entire section for "Teen Paranormal Romance." My mind was blown. In a bad way. I am always game for a good mind blowing, but this was bad. Very, very bad. What has happened to our world? How could we ever let ourselves sink so low? Sadness pierces my heart as I think about such terrible literature--
Wait, I can't call it that. Calling "Teen Paranormal Romance" (keeping this phrase in quotes is one minor way I hope to delegitimize such inanity) "literature" would be to soil, sully, stain all that is good and decent that the word "literature" signifies. I believe a more appropriate term would be "shiterature." See what I did there? I combined the words "shit" and "literature" to produce a scatological byproduct which I believe is perfectly fitting for "Teen Paranormal Romance."
Sadness pierces my heart as I think about such terrible shiterature occupying the shelves of our youth, destroying their precious minds, and devouring their souls. Barnes & Noble Booksellers, shame on you for letting this happen. I understand that you are a large corporate entity that is motivated by the satanic impulse for financial profit. I get it. I know this letter won't change that. But do you not realize the message that you are sending to teens and their parents by displaying an entire section of "Teen Paranormal Romance" shiterature? You validate, promote, and encourage the buying and reading of books that will only lead to the demise of our already tenuous society.
The fact that I'm writing this on a blog is evidence that I know about being over-educated, under-skilled, and generally ambivalent about making worthwhile contributions to society. However, it is clear even to me that "Teen Paranormal Romance" will only bring us misery and ignominy.
Barnes & Noble Booksellers, please remove this section from your stores. Please warn parents of the dangers of such shiterature. Please, please provide teens with the truth about "Teen Paranormal Romance"--that it is a horrendous plague which will destroy them. Thank you.
Sincerely,
This Guy
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