Dear Zack Snyder,

So, I just watched Sucker Punch. Since you make awful movies, I wasn't expecting to like it. And I didn't. It was pretty much as awful as your other movies. Remember how your remake of Dawn of the Dead was completely unnecessary? Remember how Frank Miller's 300 worked well in its original graphic form but how your movie totally sucked? Remember how you attempted to be "faithful" to Alan Moore's Watchmen but then changed the ending to a scenario that doesn't actually make any sense? Remember how Alan Moore refused to be credited because he didn't believe that Watchmen could exist in any other medium than graphic novel? Well, I agree with him. Remember Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole? Oh wait, does anyone remember Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole? I'll answer that one for you: no. By the way, I repeated the entire title because it's silly. Remember how all of these movies were adaptations from previous material and how Sucker Punch was the first movie you've made that was an original idea? Remember how that original idea was yours? Well, apparently you don't only direct terrible movies, but you have terrible ideas for movies. Remember how you are directing Man of Steel? Even though it's still about two years away, I have a firm belief that it will be horrible because you are directing it. Please, stop making movies. Thank you.

Sincerely,
This Guy

Dear random guy in the bathroom of a truck stop convenience store,

Remember when you stood at the sink for a while and then said, "Well... shit"? That's how I feel about life sometimes. Thank you for your profundity and insight.

Sincerely,
This Guy